I was such a nerd in high school, I didn't even have imaginary friends, I had imaginary bullies.

My act is pretty much me reflecting on what I want to talk about and what I think is funny and what has happened to me.

As a comic, I used to know more about pop culture.

Because I go outside sometimes, I'm exposed to terrible, terrible music in public.

I like any big city. I like any place where you can see a guy with a pants-full of pooh fighting a ghost.

I've been trying to quit smoking weed and it's really hard quitting pot. It was actually easier to become a vegetarian because your friends never show up at your house with a sack of beef.

I love metal songs about metal. That's one of my favorite things. Nobody does that any more. Nobody sings about how metal they are, or about their fans, or about how crazy their pits are.