I got into Kiss before I got into anybody. The first thing I heard was Detroit Rock City. I heard it in the school library, where I lived.

Guys don't do that when they go out. Guys don't wear outfits that feature the dong.

I was such a nerd in high school, I didn't even have imaginary friends, I had imaginary bullies.

Once I could drive, I spent all my time in the city going to metal shows. I missed the first couple of Metallica shows because I was lame. By the time I got into them, they were playing places like the Kabuki.

Turns out, theres not a lot of information about pickles on the Internet.

When I'm late it matters, but when everybody else is late it doesn't matter... If that's the rule then just write it down and then I know, you know... I'll read it and I'll write it down on my balls. Right here. Right here on the back of my balls is where I'll write it. On the very back. I'll just lift them and write it nicely.

I like any big city. I like any place where you can see a guy with a pants-full of pooh fighting a ghost.