As a comic, I used to know more about pop culture.

If I see a beautiful woman walking down the street, a pretty lady, I'll yell, 'Homo!' She can't get pissed, and I still get the pleasure of yelling at her.

Metal is the feeling of being an outsider, but still being part of something huge.

Just got a new car - got a little Miata convertible. Pretty happy about it, except for one thing: I'm 6-foot-6, so now I look like a McDonald's toy.

Guys don't do that when they go out. Guys don't wear outfits that feature the dong.

Whenever you see riot footage on TV - you know, someone throwing a brick in Pakistan or somebody throwing a fiery piece of pooh through a Starbucks window up in Seattle - you ever see anybody throwing anything underhand? I think it just takes all the aggression out of the act.

I was such a nerd in high school, I didn't even have imaginary friends, I had imaginary bullies.