Turns out, theres not a lot of information about pickles on the Internet.

I've been trying to quit smoking weed and it's really hard quitting pot. It was actually easier to become a vegetarian because your friends never show up at your house with a sack of beef.

I like any big city. I like any place where you can see a guy with a pants-full of pooh fighting a ghost.

Good comedy makes you laugh, and bad comedy makes people you hate laugh.

If I see a beautiful woman walking down the street, a pretty lady, I'll yell, 'Homo!' She can't get pissed, and I still get the pleasure of yelling at her.

Metal is the feeling of being an outsider, but still being part of something huge.

When I'm late it matters, but when everybody else is late it doesn't matter... If that's the rule then just write it down and then I know, you know... I'll read it and I'll write it down on my balls. Right here. Right here on the back of my balls is where I'll write it. On the very back. I'll just lift them and write it nicely.