When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize it. When your second baby drops her pacifier, you tell the dog: 'Fetch!'

What's the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole?

When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize it. When your second baby drops her pacifier, you tell the dog: 'Fetch!'

The only place you're sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother.

I don't think I'll live long enough to shoot my age. I'm lucky to shoot my weight.

Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.

I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing. Now I go to practice slicing without swearing.