When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize it. When your second baby drops her pacifier, you tell the dog: 'Fetch!'

What's the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole?

In Minnesota it's so cold some nights you have to wear two condoms.

When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize it. When your second baby drops her pacifier, you tell the dog: 'Fetch!'

The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray.

I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing. Now I go to practice slicing without swearing.

We learn so many things from golf: how to suffer, for instance.