We learn so many things from golf: how to suffer, for instance.
In Minnesota it's so cold some nights you have to wear two condoms.
On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating. The other 20 percent lied.
My ex-wife has never broken 150. I wish she would stop telling people I taught her how to play golf.
I don't think I'll live long enough to shoot my age. I'm lucky to shoot my weight.
Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.