I don't think I'll live long enough to shoot my age. I'm lucky to shoot my weight.
When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize it. When your second baby drops her pacifier, you tell the dog: 'Fetch!'
What's the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole?
In Minnesota it's so cold some nights you have to wear two condoms.
We learn so many things from golf: how to suffer, for instance.
My psychiatrist prescribed a game of golf as an antidote to the feelings of euphoria I experience from time to time.