I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine.
I don't think I'll live long enough to shoot my age. I'm lucky to shoot my weight.
When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize it. When your second baby drops her pacifier, you tell the dog: 'Fetch!'
Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife.
The only place you're sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother.
Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.