My ex-wife has never broken 150. I wish she would stop telling people I taught her how to play golf.
In Minnesota it's so cold some nights you have to wear two condoms.
I don't think I'll live long enough to shoot my age. I'm lucky to shoot my weight.
We learn so many things from golf: how to suffer, for instance.
I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine.
I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing. Now I go to practice slicing without swearing.