When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize it. When your second baby drops her pacifier, you tell the dog: 'Fetch!'
You always nag the one you love
Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife.
In Minnesota it's so cold some nights you have to wear two condoms.
We learn so many things from golf: how to suffer, for instance.
What's the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole?