I don't think I'll live long enough to shoot my age. I'm lucky to shoot my weight.
What's the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole?
In Minnesota it's so cold some nights you have to wear two condoms.
Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.
Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife.
My ex-wife has never broken 150. I wish she would stop telling people I taught her how to play golf.