The only place you're sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother.
I don't think I'll live long enough to shoot my age. I'm lucky to shoot my weight.
I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing. Now I go to practice slicing without swearing.
In Minnesota it's so cold some nights you have to wear two condoms.
The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray.
My ex-wife has never broken 150. I wish she would stop telling people I taught her how to play golf.