On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating. The other 20 percent lied.
What's the point of washing off your ball when teeing off on a water hole?
My ex-wife has never broken 150. I wish she would stop telling people I taught her how to play golf.
Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife.
The only place you're sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother.
Some golfers fantasize about playing in a foursome with Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus, and Sam Snead. The way I hit I'd rather play in a foursome with Helen Keller, Ray Charles, and Stevie Wonder.