Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.
Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife.
I don't think I'll live long enough to shoot my age. I'm lucky to shoot my weight.
The only place you're sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother.
My ex-wife has never broken 150. I wish she would stop telling people I taught her how to play golf.
Some golfers fantasize about playing in a foursome with Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus, and Sam Snead. The way I hit I'd rather play in a foursome with Helen Keller, Ray Charles, and Stevie Wonder.