Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife.
I don't think I'll live long enough to shoot my age. I'm lucky to shoot my weight.
My psychiatrist prescribed a game of golf as an antidote to the feelings of euphoria I experience from time to time.
My ex-wife has never broken 150. I wish she would stop telling people I taught her how to play golf.
The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray.
Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.