You always nag the one you love

I'll always remember the day I broke ninety. I had a few beers in the clubhouse and was so excited I forgot to play the back nine.

When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize it. When your second baby drops her pacifier, you tell the dog: 'Fetch!'

On a recent survey, 80 percent of golfers admitted cheating. The other 20 percent lied.

The only thing in my bag that works is the bug spray.

Talking to a golf ball won't do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.

I used to go to the driving range to practice driving without slicing. Now I go to practice slicing without swearing.