Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much.

There have always been mixed emotions about Howard Cosell: Some people hate him like poison; and other people just hate him regular.

Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much.

Ya know, if you treat every comic the way you treated me tonight, you would never see a bad show.

Ninety-nine percent is in the delivery. If you have the right voice and the right delivery, you're cocky enough, and you pound down on the punch line, you can say anything and make people laugh maybe three times before they realize you're not telling jokes.

Why should I be angry at someone when they are out dancing?

The menu of my mother consisted of only two choices: Leave it or take it