Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much.
The menu of my mother consisted of only two choices: Leave it or take it
If it's dirty, it's not funny, but if it's funny, it's not dirty.
I found out that if you made people laugh, they like you. Most people got to like me because I made them laugh. When they didn't, I hit them.
Don't carry a grudge. While you're carrying the grudge, the other guys's out there dancing.
A comedian sees the world bent. I'm tangent to the circle.