Why should I be angry at someone when they are out dancing?
I've had a few arguments with people, but I never carry a grudge. You know why? While you're carrying a grudge, they're out dancing.
Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much.
If it's dirty, it's not funny, but if it's funny, it's not dirty.
I've had a good day when I don't fall out of the cart.
When I do an hour-and-a-half show, if I don't improvise 20 minutes worth of new material each night, I feel I've let myself down.