Two kinds of ballplayers aren't worth a darn: One that never does what he's told, and one who does nothin' except what he's told.

Mama always said that if it can't rain on you, you're indoors.

Winning is only half of it. Having fun is the other half.

Dallas Cowboys may be America's team, but the Houston Oilers are Texas' team.

That boy could throw a ball through a car wash and not get it wet. (on Warren Moon)

An expert is an ordinary fella away from home.

I know why we lost the Civil War. We must have had the same officials.