What interests me is what you might call vernacular writing, writing that connects you to a place.

There is a theory that sooner or later anything in America that is any fun at all will be ruined by people from California.

Money not spent on a luxury one considered even briefly is the equivalent of windfall income and should be spent accordingly.

In modern America, anyone who attempts to write satirically about the events of the day finds it difficult to concoct a situation so bizarre that it may not actually come to pass while his article is still on the presses.

The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic with just the sort of people they're trying to keep out.

If bumblebee leavings and stump paste are so good for you, why can't any of those guys (in the health stores) grow full beards?

With humor, it’s so subjective that trying to think of what the ideal reader would think would drive you crazy.