Do my ears deceive me, or can I actually hear the sounds of worms turning? You say a turning worm makes no sound? But how about a chorus of turning worms?

I do remember in high school I wanted to be a disc jockey.

Anybody who doesn't think that the best hamburger place in teh world is in his home town is a sissy.

If General Haig is so smart, why did he finish 214th (out of 310) in his graduating class at West Point? Does that mean there are 213 generals his age who are smarter than he is?

Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucini, but sharing the burden of finding the fettucini restaurant in the first place.

Every good idea sooner or later degenerates into hard work.

I like chili, but not enough to discuss it with someone from Texas.