I'm more disturbed when people expect me to be serious.

When it comes to rapacious 19th century capitalism, my family's hands are clean.

There is a theory that sooner or later anything in America that is any fun at all will be ruined by people from California.

There is no question that Rumanian-Jewish food is heavy. One meal is equal in heaviness, I would guess, to eight or nine years of steady mung-bean eating.

With humor, it’s so subjective that trying to think of what the ideal reader would think would drive you crazy.

The interesting thing about class warfare is that it's only class warfare if it's up, not down. If you talk about welfare cheats or something, that's not class warfare because it's down; you have to talk about rich people before it's class warfare.

I suppose it's possible that the Sundance Kid didn't like to make much of his birthdays — they may have struck him as just another reminder that his draw was getting slower by the year—but what if he truly liked a major celebration? What if he looked forward every year to marking the day of his birth with what they used to call in the West 'a real wingding, with pink balloons and a few survivors'?