The interesting thing about class warfare is that it's only class warfare if it's up, not down. If you talk about welfare cheats or something, that's not class warfare because it's down; you have to talk about rich people before it's class warfare.

When it comes to Chinese food I have always operated under the policy that the less known about the preparation the better. A wise diner who is invited to visit the kitchen replies by saying, as politely as possible, that he has a pressing engagement elsewhere.

When helicopters were snatching people from the grounds of the American embassy compound during the panic of the final Vietcong push into Saigon, I was sitting in front of the television set shouting, Get the chefs! Get the chefs!

I don't think I've ever read a food piece or a food book.

Math was always my bad subject. I couldn't convince my teachers that many of my answers were meant ironically.

If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.

I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still.