Everybody is who he was in high school.

I don't care where I sit, as long as I get fed.

When someone reaches middle age, people he knows begin to get put in charge of things, and knowing what he knows about the people who are being put in charge of things scares the hell out of him.

There's always a source for humor.

One advantage of a monarchy is that a monarchy does not suffer the effects of having great clots of white Christians moping around simply because they aren't the king or queen.

It has long been acknowledged that the single best restaurant in the world is Arthur Bryant's Barbecue at Eighteenth and Booklyn in Kansas city.

If Lincoln freed the slaves and preserved the Union, how come 'Lincolnesque' just means tall?