Canadians are very well behaved, they don't throw their food.

Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucini, but sharing the burden of finding the fettucini restaurant in the first place.

Marriage is part of a sort of 50′s revival package that's back in vogue along with neckties and naked ambition.

I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.

If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.

Do my ears deceive me, or can I actually hear the sounds of worms turning? You say a turning worm makes no sound? But how about a chorus of turning worms?

I do remember in high school I wanted to be a disc jockey.