If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many lawyers?

There is no question that Rumanian-Jewish food is heavy. One meal is equal in heaviness, I would guess, to eight or nine years of steady mung-bean eating.

Anybody caught selling macrame in public should be dyed a natural color and hung out to dry.

What campaigns are for is weeding out the people who, for one way or another, weren't making it for the long haul.

Keeping off a large weight loss is a phenomenon about as common in American medicine as an impoverished dermatologist.

I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of.

There's always a source for humor [in politics]. If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny. So it sort of selects itself. It has to. And plus, often something that wouldn't be funny at the time is okay to make jokes about later.