You know, I used to say, when people say, 'How do you think about what to write about in the poems every week?' And I say, 'Well, I have to turn it in on Monday, so on Sunday nights I turn the shower to iambic pentameter and it sort of works out that way.'

Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions.

Since nostaglia is fueled by inflation, could it be that inflation is the result of a conspiracy by the people who are trying to palm off McGovern buttons and Howdy Doody puppets and their Aunt Thelma's toaster as antiques.

I've written three books you could think of as memoirs.

People, not just reporters, are more interested in politics than in government, so the actual issues wouldn't be something that interested them.

Anybody who doesn't think that the best hamburger place in teh world is in his home town is a sissy.

If bumblebee leavings and stump paste are so good for you, why can't any of those guys (in the health stores) grow full beards?