We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the page.

Even today, well-brought-up English girls are taught by their mothers to boil all veggies for at least a month and a half, just in case one of the dinner guests turns up without his teeth.

There is no question that Rumanian-Jewish food is heavy. One meal is equal in heaviness, I would guess, to eight or nine years of steady mung-bean eating.

I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still.

Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions.

The way I read Billy Carter's testimony, he was a model citizen himself until the voters went and ruined his life by making his brother President.

I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.