We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the page.

I don't mind being interviewed on television or radio.

There's always a source for humor [in politics]. If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny. So it sort of selects itself. It has to. And plus, often something that wouldn't be funny at the time is okay to make jokes about later.

There is a theory that sooner or later anything in America that is any fun at all will be ruined by people from California.

I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.

Being on a book tour is a lot easier than reporting.

The food in such places is so tasteless because the members associate spices and garlic with just the sort of people they're trying to keep out.