Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions.

It happens to be a matter of record that I was first in print with the discovery that the tastelessness of the food offered in American clubs varies in direct proportion to the exclusiveness of the club.

What campaigns are for is weeding out the people who, for one way or another, weren't making it for the long haul.

The Banh Mi sandwich is really the only good argument for colonialism.

At American weddings, the quality of the food is in inverse proportion to the social position of the bride and groom.

If General Haig is so smart, why did he finish 214th (out of 310) in his graduating class at West Point? Does that mean there are 213 generals his age who are smarter than he is?

Fairs are good places to eat, particularly for stand-up eaters--which is one of the kinds of eaters I am, although when I eat standing up away from home I sometimes miss the familiar cool breeze coming from the open refrigerator.