I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still.

What interests me is what you might call vernacular writing, writing that connects you to a place.

When you're writing, you are robbed of your delivery.

If bumblebee leavings and stump paste are so good for you, why can't any of those guys (in the health stores) grow full beards?

If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny.

If General Haig is so smart, why did he finish 214th (out of 310) in his graduating class at West Point? Does that mean there are 213 generals his age who are smarter than he is?

Math was always my bad subject. I couldn't convince my teachers that many of my answers were meant ironically.