I've always thought that parallel parking was my main talent.

At American weddings, the quality of the food is in inverse proportion to the social position of the bride and groom.

What campaigns are for is weeding out the people who, for one way or another, weren't making it for the long haul.

One advantage of a monarchy is that a monarchy does not suffer the effects of having great clots of white Christians moping around simply because they aren't the king or queen.

Health food makes me sick.

As part of my research for An Anthology of Authors' Atrocity Stories About Publishers, I conducted a study (employing my usual controls) that showed the average shelf life of a trade book to be somewhere between milk and yoghurt.

Once, in Lisbon, I tried my best to work the phone book in a way that would assuage a longing [Alice and I] had for certain Chinese dishes . . . .