It was a given in our family that my father was a grocer so that I wouldn't have to be.

Avoid restaurants with names that are improbable descriptions, such as the Purple Goose, the Blue Kangaroo or the Quilted Orangutan.

The way I read Billy Carter's testimony, he was a model citizen himself until the voters went and ruined his life by making his brother President.

The margin of error in astrology is plus or minus one hundred percent.

The interesting thing about class warfare is that it's only class warfare if it's up, not down. If you talk about welfare cheats or something, that's not class warfare because it's down; you have to talk about rich people before it's class warfare.

Why in the world are you a Republican?

Many Texas barbecue fanatics have a strong belief in the beneficial properties of accumulated grease.