It is never okay to use the toilet with the door open... I never want to know what comes out of there because sometimes I eat at that restaurant.

I am a product... I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh. I make sense out of ridiculous situations, but in the end, it's all about laughter. It's all about your cheek hurting, your stomach hurting.

As the artist, you have to live in order to experience life to put that out there, and when you are successful in America and in the world, your point of view is the 5% and not the 95%, but you have to represent the 95% so you have to find a way to experience life the way they do.

When white people eat potato chips, they're called white people. When black people eat potato chips, they're called niggas.

Like my father I, too, was born in Central America - Nebraska.

If God made Adam and Eve, they had children... wait a minute... that means someone banged their sister!

Listen, here's my questions to anybody when they talk about comedy. When you are with your friends who don't judge you, what do you say? And if that's appropriate to say with your friends, why is it not appropriate anywhere else. Like I hate those people who judge me and are hypocrites.