It is never okay to use the toilet with the door open... I never want to know what comes out of there because sometimes I eat at that restaurant.

When white people eat potato chips, they're called white people. When black people eat potato chips, they're called niggas.

In Texas, if your name is Carlos, you're a Mexican. In Florida, you're a Cuban. In New York, you're a Puerto Rican. And I come here and I find out I'm an Eskimo.

When I go onstage, I don't know what I'm going to say. I don't know what's going to come out of my mouth. It's one of those questions where any and everything is possible. I literally could be talking about somebody I was hanging out with two seconds ago or something from the news. Literally, there's really no rhyme or reason for it. I want to be free flowing like that.

America is such a great country, we have fat poor people.

Do not encourage my behaviour.

I'll admit it, the Holocaust was definitely a bad thing, but do we really need Jewish people around? They have big noses. I said it! I said it!