It is never okay to use the toilet with the door open... I never want to know what comes out of there because sometimes I eat at that restaurant.

In all honesty, we don't know what's in the hearts of other men. All I know is that I respect comedy and I know comedy. I would never, ever, ever take somebody else's joke.

The essence of what makes life beautiful is the fact that it can go away.

When I go onstage, I don't know what I'm going to say. I don't know what's going to come out of my mouth. It's one of those questions where any and everything is possible. I literally could be talking about somebody I was hanging out with two seconds ago or something from the news. Literally, there's really no rhyme or reason for it. I want to be free flowing like that.

When women can't climax, it's our fault, but when we can't get an erection, we have to go to the doctor.

Dee Dee Dee dosen't mean mentally retarded. It means stupid. This song goes out to all the stupid people out there. Your gonna find this song hilarious, and you don't even know it's about you.

I grew up in the projects and I know how important it is for kids to have hope.