I never, nor will I, put another person down to feel better about myself. I will live and die by what I do, not what anyone else thinks about me.

As the artist, you have to live in order to experience life to put that out there, and when you are successful in America and in the world, your point of view is the 5% and not the 95%, but you have to represent the 95% so you have to find a way to experience life the way they do.

I don't need anybody, I'm successful in life enough to buy myself a f'ing sandwich.

Listen, here's my questions to anybody when they talk about comedy. When you are with your friends who don't judge you, what do you say? And if that's appropriate to say with your friends, why is it not appropriate anywhere else. Like I hate those people who judge me and are hypocrites.

When it comes to my daughter, I'm a conservative. But when it comes to your daughter, I'm a liberal!

It is never okay to use the toilet with the door open... I never want to know what comes out of there because sometimes I eat at that restaurant.

When I was young and didn't have money, I liked gambling because winning and losing was fun for the rush of it. The amount of money that I would have to put down now to get that rush, there is no f'ing way I'm going to do it. It's just stupid. I would rather get that rush some other way.