We dropped two bombs on Nagasaki and Hiroshima, and the name of the plane that delivered the weapons was the Enola Gay. Do you know why? Because we wanted them to know that they were about to get boned in the ass.

When a black person has no electricity, no water, they call it the ghetto. When white people have no electricity and no water, they call it camping.

We celebrate Labor Day by not going to work?

I'm not white, I don't apologize for what my country did to become great

Why are we rebuilding New Orleans? Whose idea was this, Aquaman?

The essence of what makes life beautiful is the fact that it can go away.

Race makes things funny. A black guy driving in NASCAR: not funny. A black guy driving a car sponsored by Tide: not funny. A black guy driving a car sponsored by Aunt Jemima: hilarious.