When it comes to my daughter, I'm a conservative. But when it comes to your daughter, I'm a liberal!

That's not news! When a shark comes out of the water, walks into a 7-11, and bites you in the ass, then it's news!

If God made Adam and Eve, they had children... wait a minute... that means someone banged their sister!

I grew up in the projects and I know how important it is for kids to have hope.

I don't need anybody, I'm successful in life enough to buy myself a f'ing sandwich.

God has a sense of humor. If you don't believe me, tomorrow go to wal-mart and just look at people.

When it comes to my daughter, I'm a conservative. But when it comes to your daughter, I'm a liberal!