When it comes to my daughter, I'm a conservative. But when it comes to your daughter, I'm a liberal!

Hurricane Katrina was caused by political correctness. I said it!

Do not encourage my behaviour.

I am a product... I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh. I make sense out of ridiculous situations, but in the end, it's all about laughter. It's all about your cheek hurting, your stomach hurting.

At the end of the day, I don't think I am going to be judged by what happened in the 90's and 2000's, at the end of the day my career will be judged from beginning to end and everything in between.

I never, nor will I, put another person down to feel better about myself. I will live and die by what I do, not what anyone else thinks about me.

If God made Adam and Eve, they had children... wait a minute... that means someone banged their sister!