When white people eat potato chips, they're called white people. When black people eat potato chips, they're called niggas.

We dropped two bombs on Nagasaki and Hiroshima, and the name of the plane that delivered the weapons was the Enola Gay. Do you know why? Because we wanted them to know that they were about to get boned in the ass.

If God made Adam and Eve, they had children... wait a minute... that means someone banged their sister!

When it comes to my daughter, I'm a conservative. But when it comes to your daughter, I'm a liberal!

My brain is very simple. Like when you break everything down. I see things in a simple way. And that simplicity for some reason becomes funny to other people because they don't look at it that way.

If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.

Do you think we care about the feelings of Native Americans when we celebrate Columbus Day? That's the day that the white man discovered a land where Indians had been living for a few thousand years.