Why are we rebuilding New Orleans? Whose idea was this, Aquaman?

What I say is stupid. Who takes a comedian seriously? I'm doing sophisticated knock-knock jokes.

When white people eat potato chips, they're called white people. When black people eat potato chips, they're called niggas.

And for all of you at home, you are all welcome to visit my store. You are also welcome to park off you motherparking parks, and go park yourself. But remember, don't park in a handicapped spot.

Listen, here's my questions to anybody when they talk about comedy. When you are with your friends who don't judge you, what do you say? And if that's appropriate to say with your friends, why is it not appropriate anywhere else. Like I hate those people who judge me and are hypocrites.

As the artist, you have to live in order to experience life to put that out there, and when you are successful in America and in the world, your point of view is the 5% and not the 95%, but you have to represent the 95% so you have to find a way to experience life the way they do.

If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.