It's also selfish because it makes you feel good when you help others. I've been helped by acts of kindness from strangers. That's why we're here, after all, to help others.

The audience is never wrong.

The first time someone said, 'What are your measurements?' I answered, '37, 24, 38 - but not necessarily in that order.'

I never regretted turning down anything, I never regretted losing a job because I always felt something else was out there.

What I do when I write is I just write the way I would tell it, so it comes out just exactly the way I would talk to you.

I'm really not that funny in real life. But I am the best audience one could find. I love to laugh.

I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?