I wish my mother had left me something about how she felt growing up. I wish my grandmother had done the same. I wanted my girls to know me.

I liked myself better when I wasnt me.

Well, I don't know how astute I am, but I did want to be a journalist when I was growing up.

I've always been able to recount things and I have a really good memory about dialog and what people have said before and this and that.

It's almost impossible to be funnier than the people in Washington.

I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?

You do have to love your kids enough to let them hate you. But it's the disease that's hating you, not them.