The first time someone said, 'What are your measurements?' I answered, '37, 24, 38 - but not necessarily in that order.'

Comedy is tragedy plus time.

You know, one wonderful thing that came out of my Enquirer experience is that, in my case, it was ruled tabloids are magazines. Which means they didn't have the protection that a newspaper has.

Adolescence is just one big walking pimple.

If you want to know the feeling [of labor pain], just take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.

Well, I don't know how astute I am, but I did want to be a journalist when I was growing up.

Because nobody goes through life without a scar.