Growing up, it was always, 'If you buy kosher meat, they're killed humanely.' But I've seen so many horrible videos. What we thought was humane 100 years ago is not humane anymore. The ways animals suffer, I just couldn't be a part of it anymore.

My father was the kind of guy who'd always say 'Throw out any subject and I got a joke on it,'

Been thinking about having a baby. But if I want to do it, I'd have to do it soon 'cause it's getting near closing time. The clock is ticking. My gynecologist said, if I wanted to have a baby, I would have to do it - the latest - by the ended of this show.

I'm sorry I didn't have this revelation earlier. I sleep better and more soundly because I'm not participating anymore.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

There were very few women comics when I started out doing stand-up. But I always saw that as a great advantage.

As a writer, the worst thing you can do is work in an environment of fear of rejection.