I'm not afraid of putting myself out there to someone and then them passing on it. At least you could have gotten a 'yes.' So it's worthwhile to have the cojones to do it.

I'm wearing a new perfume that I should recommend to the women in the audience; it's called 'Tester.

My father was the king of the joke-tellers. I was so impressed as a child watching him, holding people in rapt attention.

Been thinking about having a baby. But if I want to do it, I'd have to do it soon 'cause it's getting near closing time. The clock is ticking. My gynecologist said, if I wanted to have a baby, I would have to do it - the latest - by the ended of this show.

The only thing I said to my parents when I was a teenager was Hang up, I got it!

I never thought I was going to have children. I just thought after 45, that was it.

You know what kills me about Jennifer Lopez? The fact that this woman wakes up one day and she's like, 'You know what? From now on, I'd like people to call me J-Lo,' and then they do it. Only a celebrity can get away with this. George Bush doesn't come out for his morning press conferences: 'From now on, I'd like to be referred to as G-Bu. Y'all know my vice president, Dog Chain.