I have to go out for lunch and dinner because I can't cook. I need a woman to come and save me from my cooking.

I don't want to be known just as 'Carrot Top.' I don't always want to be this crazy, goofy guy.

Some people even think I wear a wig. Do they think I went into a salon one day and said, Can you please screw this up really bad?

Comics don't like to see other comics do well.

My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh.

Almost every day, someone asks if I ever flat iron my hair. I say, 'No, because I'm afraid it wouldn't look good and wouldn't come back curly.'

Me in drag is kind of scary, actually. It's frightening. I actually look pretty good.