My way of making people like me was to make 'em laugh.

Almost every day, someone asks if I ever flat iron my hair. I say, 'No, because I'm afraid it wouldn't look good and wouldn't come back curly.'

So I try not to look too far into the future because I think that everything happens and will happen for a reason.

I didn't really have a plan of attack when I got in college.

I always think everyone else is funnier than me. I look at other comedians and I say, 'I wish I was that good.' People think I'm funny, and I say, 'I'm not.'

I have to go out for lunch and dinner because I can't cook. I need a woman to come and save me from my cooking.

My manager has a car payment, so I work every night.