See that fella over there? He's 20 years old. In 10 years, he's got a chance to be a star. Now that fella over there, he's 20 years old, too. In 10 years he's got a chance to be 30.

I might have been able to make it as a pitcher except for one thing: I had a rather awkward motion and every time I brought my left arm forward I hit myself in the ear.

The Mets have shown me more ways to lose than I even knew existed.

The trouble with women umpires is that I couldn't argue with one. I'd put my arms around her and give her a little kiss.

Oldtimers, weekends, and airplane landings are alike. If you can walk away from them, they're successful.

Most people my age are dead at the present time and you can look it up.

Never wear a backward baseball cap to an interview unless applying for the job of umpire.