Mr. that boy couldn't hit the ground if he fell out of an airplane.

They say some of my stars drink whiskey, but I have found that ones who drink milkshakes don't win many ball games.

The way our luck has been lately, our fellas have been getting hurt on their days off.

It's high time something was done for the pitchers. They put up the stands and take down fences to make more home runs and plague the pitchers. Let them revive the spitter and help the pitchers make a living.

The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night looking for it.

You have to draft a catcher, because if you don't have one, the pitch will roll all the way back to the screen.

Good pitching will always stop good hitting and vice-versa.