The trick is growing up without growing old.

The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It's that they stay out all night looking for it.

Sometimes it's easier to understand things than it is to figure them out

I feel greatly honored to have a ballpark named after me, especially since I've been thrown out of so many.

If you walk backwards, you'll find out you can go forwards and people won't know if you're coming or going.

Been in this game one-hundred years, but I see new ways to lose 'em I never knew existed before.

I love signing autographs. I'll sign anything but veal cutlets. My ballpoint slips on veal cutlets.