If you walk backwards, you'll find out you can go forwards and people won't know if you're coming or going.

I came in here and a fella asked me to have a drink. I said I don't drink. Then another fella said hear you and Joe DiMaggio aren't speaking and I said I'll take that drink.

Do you realize how good you have to be to strike out 2000 times?

Mr. that boy couldn't hit the ground if he fell out of an airplane.

Best thing wrong with Jack Fisher is nothing.

Don't cut off your nose yourself.

Most people my age are dead at the present time and you can look it up.