I'll never make the mistake of being 70 again.

Don't drink in the hotel bar, that's where I do my drinking.

I might have been able to make it as a pitcher except for one thing: I had a rather awkward motion and every time I brought my left arm forward I hit myself in the ear.

Okay everybody, line up in alphabetical order according to your height.

Some of you fellers are getting 'Whiskey Slick.'

The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.

Managing is getting paid for home runs that someone else hits.