The founders of Snapchat last year turned down a $3 billion offer from Facebook and a $4 billion offer from Google. It was a surprising show of integrity from the guys who invented the app that lets you look at pictures of boobs for five seconds.

You have to put work into relationships to keep them fun.

I was voted funniest person in my middle-school yearbook. So I guess I was funny in middle school?

I think of myself as kind of a hippy. Everyone around me says that's not the impression they get. They think I'm sassy. Apparently, I think I'm nicer than I really am.

What can I say about Brian Williams. Nothing, because I work for NBC.

Your hair is so white now it can talk back to the police.

Let's give it up for the Secret Service. I don't want to be too hard on those guys. You know, because they're the only law enforcement agency that will get in trouble if a black man gets shot.