The founders of Snapchat last year turned down a $3 billion offer from Facebook and a $4 billion offer from Google. It was a surprising show of integrity from the guys who invented the app that lets you look at pictures of boobs for five seconds.

Your hair is so white now it can talk back to the police.

I always feel the most validated and confident being around people that I find funny - having Fred Armisen laugh at a scene or Bill Hader or Seth Meyers give me a compliment.

Let's give it up for the Secret Service. I don't want to be too hard on those guys. You know, because they're the only law enforcement agency that will get in trouble if a black man gets shot.

Paris is so beautiful. Mr. President, you should really think about going there sometime.

I was voted funniest person in my middle-school yearbook. So I guess I was funny in middle school?

I like Instagram - I love pictures, I just dont take them very often.