Paris is so beautiful. Mr. President, you should really think about going there sometime.

I went [to Hobby Lobby] this morning and bought the cutest little wicker basket to hold all my morning-after pills.

I think of myself as kind of a hippy. Everyone around me says that's not the impression they get. They think I'm sassy. Apparently, I think I'm nicer than I really am.

The founders of Snapchat last year turned down a $3 billion offer from Facebook and a $4 billion offer from Google. It was a surprising show of integrity from the guys who invented the app that lets you look at pictures of boobs for five seconds.

I always feel the most validated and confident being around people that I find funny - having Fred Armisen laugh at a scene or Bill Hader or Seth Meyers give me a compliment.

I'm also the first straight woman to host this in 20 years, so, we finally made it, straight people.

I solemnly swear not to talk about Hillary's appearance, because that is not journalism.