To me, there's only 5 real jobs in America: Police Officers, Teachers, Firefighters, Doctors, and the Military Service.

Everybody in the world has an ego. The only difference between us is we have a reason to have an ego.

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag.

I was a Republican until they lost their minds

Poor white people and poor black people just don't know how much they have in common. Rich people don't give a damn about either group.

You got to believe in yourself. Hell, I believe I'm the best-looking guy in the world and I might be right.

People always say he can run and he can jump. So can a deer and you wouldn't put a deer in the game.