If you go out with a girl and they say she has a great personality, she's ugly. If they tell you a guy works hard, he can't play a lick. Same thing.

They always try to make it like jocks discriminate against gay people. I've been a big proponent of gay marriage for a long time, because as a black person, I can't be in for any form of discrimination at all.

People say I eat a lot. I really don't. More or less I just eat all the time.

I was asked for years about being a Republican, probably because most black people are Democrats. My mother heard it once and called me and said 'Charles, Republicans are for the rich people.' And I said, 'Mom, I'm rich.'

My wife's married. I'm not.

Curling is not a sport. I called my grandmother and told her she could win a gold medal because they have dusting in the Olympics now.

I May Be Wrong but I Doubt It.