Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life.

All his life he tried to be a good person. Many times, however, he failed. For after all, he was only human. He wasn't a dog.

Happiness is a sad song.

It won't do you any good to run if you're running the wrong way. I've developed a new philosophy...I only dread one day at a time.

All of earth's creatures have, hidden within their beings, a wild uncontrollable urge to punt!

Why is it that you don't love me?" "Sometimes I wish I knew..." "Don't anybody tell him!!

The early bird gets the worm but the late bird doesn't even get the late worm.